About Camille

Hi, I’m Camille.  I am a mom of four beautiful blessings from God.  My story began years ago when I went on my first diet to lose weight.  I had never really struggled with food before this, but through the influence and pressure from a culture fixated on weight and appearance, I finally gave in and signed up for Weight Watchers.  My motives weren’t just to live a healthier life- it was mainly about weight loss.  What I didn’t know was that this diet was the beginning of a long dark road towards disordered eating and body obsession. 

So I signed up with a friend and began my diet as all diets seem to start out- you know, you’re excited and motivated- ready to stick to your plan and lose the weight.  I initially lost weight very easily (looking back now I understand why I lost weight so quickly as this was a very calorie-restrictive diet) and started receiving compliments- which only made me want to continue.  I lost more weight and when I reached my “goal weight” it still wasn’t enough.  I began exercising to earn food and lose more weight.  All of this led me to eventually binge and into a constant shame cycle with food and my body.  If the number on the scale went up, I had to restrict more.  If it went down, I felt more worthy and continued my pursuit. How I felt about myself that day depended on the number.  I was constantly body-checking myself in the mirror.  My life over the years became consumed with nothing but thoughts about what I would eat and my workouts.  At one point I was so unhealthy, I had lost my cycle, was losing hair, had low body temperatures, a low heart rate, and severe anxiety.  I didn’t understand nor did doctors put the pieces together that I was starving myself.  I didn’t look undernourished, but I was.  

If you have ever pulled back a rubber band, you know the harder you pull it back, the harder it snaps.  Because I was restricting so much, I eventually started having massive binges.  I had immense guilt and couldn’t figure out why I was living in this cycle.  I just thought that I needed more self-discipline and self-control.  I prayed to God that I would have the strength to resist the food, but I always ended up over-eating and then having to spend extra time exercising to “make up” for it.  I was desperate and felt like a prisoner. 

One day, I stumbled upon a book called Intuitive Eating by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch.  (Hello, DIVINE INTERVENTION).  If you haven’t read the book, GO buy it now! It was like a light came on and I could see why I had been struggling so much.  I realized that I was not some crazy food addict or out-of-control maniac.  My body was in survival mode!! God had actually given me the drive to binge and eat these large amounts of food to survive!! Restricting these “forbidden foods” is what was causing me to become so fixated on them.  Sugar was not some drug I would have to abstain from for the rest of my life (by the way, read up on that one- yes it lights your brain up like cocaine, but so does dancing and holding your baby and that, I’m pretty sure you are not “addicted” to).  Everything made sense and it was truly an awakening for me.  

So I committed to learning the principles of Intuitive Eating and healing my relationship with food.  I deleted all of the “fitspo” accounts on my social media and flooded my brain with the Intuitive eating/body positive/ Health-at-every-size messages and joined support groups and by God’s grace I was transformed- I remember the day that it hit me that I couldn’t remember the last time that I had binged! It was amazing.  I had become a slave to diet culture and found my way out.  

It was a long journey coming out of the disordered world I was in, but once I felt like I had made it out, I knew God was telling me to share this message.  I started opening up and sharing on social media about my struggles- which by the way, being vulnerable and opening up about my battle actually brought more healing.  Other women started to share with me about their struggles too.  I realized that we are not alone when it comes to feeling this pressure to look a certain way. There are so many other women out there that struggle with food/body image in some way.  We are taught that we need to worry about our appearance and always be striving to improve it.  

But this is not what God wants for us.  We are all unique and we are just not meant to all look the same.  This is a lie from the enemy- we do NOT have to focus on our appearance to be worthy.  We can find a healthy balance and take care of and honor our bodies without restricting and intense workouts.  God wants us to use our bodies as instruments, not ornaments.  We are worth more than what our society would have us believe.  We are worth more!